Current WIP(s)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Writing About Love - February Blog Chain

Writing about Love

When I first read this idea on AW’s February Blog Chain, I was immediately hooked. It’s SO much easier to write about love than it is to live it. Obviously, I’m not the only one who thinks so. But for some people, love comes naturally in their lives as well as their writing.

Not so for me.

When I find that my character(s) is going to have a love interest, and sometimes it is a shock to me, I tend to tense up a little at first. How can I write about something that, outside of my friends and family, has never really happened to me before? Yes, I’ve loved a few people in my life, I suppose. But it never lasted and IMHO it wasn’t love, I just thought it was.

So what do I do when I have to/want to write about it?


I just write about how I wish it could/would be. That’s easy enough. Unfortunately it all seems so mushy and fake and cliché that it usually does not end up getting past the editing process. But those are just my self-editing skills (or major lack thereof) coming to the forefront. The words and ideas come to me easily enough. It’s not hard to write about how I wish I was treated in a relationship or about how I would treat my significant other. The only major conflict I usually run into is with my MC’s. Generally these girls are not about falling in love with anyone. They’re about doing what they have to do to survive, protect people, etc. So when the whole love question comes up, it throws me for a loop.

Also, my MC’s, the poor girls, don’t usually get the HEA, no matter what. The stories all end in tragedy and pain. Trust me, I’ve tried making it the opposite way, but the story wants what the story wants.

After all, real life isn’t always about happily ever after.


  1. Writing about love can be hard. At least it is for me. As a young child you believe the whole happily ever after. But once you grow up and experience your own love, it just isn't so. Sure many say they have found their happily ever after (I was and still am one of those) although I do not say it out loud anymore in fear of jinxing myself and my current love life. I tend to steer clear of "Love" in my stories or at least the happily ever after version of "Love".

  2. "I just write about how I wish it could/would be." Those of us that have been in love, are in love or love love also do this, so never fear that you are alone. :) Some of us have lived that proverbial "love at first sight" "passionate love" and STILL write what they imagine. :) Like me. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?

  3. Some days I wish I could find the whole "love at first sight" type of thing, but then again I don't. I guess I'm at a point right now in my life where love is literally the last thing I'm worried about so I don't give it a second thought. But ugh, when it comes to my writing, I don't really have a choice if that's what the story wants me to do. :D

  4. I would have to say that one of the advantages of being an "old" writer is the life experiences. No way could I have written about love in my 20's or even my 30's. Not passably and certainly not well. For that reason, I'm glad none of my youthful writings featured it. I cringe to think how bad it would have been. My angsty, cryptic stuff was bad enough without throwing maudlin attempts at love in there too. LOL

  5. Well, here's a truth some folks don't want to hear or read--some stories don't have happy endings. Be true to yourself. Yeah, writing love is hard. On the other hand, you do change over time. Eventually you may write a wonderful grand love story. Or not. Either way, keep on writing.

  6. You don't always need to be experienced in something to write about it. If that were the case, I'd be pretty darned embarrassed right now, lol.
    But, I understand about MC's in love stories getting mushy. I had to work on that early on and now enjoy torturing most of my MC's. I do have to give them a HEA or my publisher would have a fit and probably toss my manuscript in the garbage.
    I agree though, it's a lot easier to write about, than it is to live it. Guess why so many people use romance as an escape, myself included.

  7. That's a very good point about experience. It's not like I run around battling various evil forces like my MC's do, so yeah I agree.

  8. Nice post! Sometimes the stories just have to tell themselves - happily ended or not.

  9. Fiction is fiction because we want to write what isn't real --we create! Keep on creating!